The Victorian Era had so many rules for proper behavior in social settings including the use of calling cards that allowed the butler to properly introduce your entrance to any home. That is so far from the reality of today but what has replaced it?

In those days, people would be properly announced when entering the home of the host and hostess of a dinner party. Gone too, are the Victorian dinner party etiquette manuals for hosting or attending such a dinner. Granted, those days had butlers and one spoke delicately about domestic solicitude, and when the servers took away plates and such, they moved as if they were wearing soft ballet shoes, so light was their touch and attitude as they moved noiselessly about. Guests on the other hand basically pretended that the domestics were not even there.

Today we no longer place any importance on the pretentiousness and rules that came with the Victorian era. It is much more important to make sure that all of the guests and the hosts are relaxed and comfortable, easily enjoying the food and company that the host has lovingly prepared with their own hands. Etiquette is just as important as it was during the olden days but are we as prepared as our ancestors as to what those rules are?

The necessity for inviting guests to a dinner party used to require that they were engraved on beautiful stationary and hand delivered by a servant. For a guest to respond to the invitation it was required that you respond immediately to the host with a formal response as well. Today we do not require that level of formality for anything other than a wedding or other formal affair but that does not mean that we have been reduced to the lack of consideration by using email for our invitations either.

It was customary to dress in your finest during Victorian times, but now, many dinner party invitations now stipulate a more relaxed atmosphere and may say that it is casual dress. We have retained, though, the etiquette that one should never dress in a manner that one ups ones host or hostess.

Good manners, also means that an invitation to a dinner party usually requires that you will give the hosts a small gift, such as flowers, or wine. Too, you will show up on time, not overly early, nor any later than ten minutes or so. Men should still seat their lady. Good manners also dictate that you use your napkin properly, and allowing the hosts to begin the meal by unfolding their napkin still signals that the meal has begun.

Men should still stand when a lady leaves the table, and in todays cellular society, it is customary to turn cell phones off during dinnertime. It is exceedingly bad manners to take calls at the hosts table. Excuse yourself and take the call in private if its necessary to take a call at all.

Hostesses need to be prepared to anticipate the food needs of their guests. It is acceptable to ask ahead of time whether your guests have any dietary restrictions to avoid confusion and stress on the day of the party. If you guest should give you an unexpected dietary requirement, graciously do your best to meet the requirement. The consumption of alcohol is a delicate topic and hosts need to do their best to ensure that nobody exceeds their limits. This is an area that crosses social etiquette into legal and moral issues.

Everyone commits a social blunder or faux pas every once in awhile. The trick when an error occurs is not to allow it to ruffle your feathers but instead make amends quickly and then move on with the occassion. Maintaining good manners as a guest will ensure that your social calendar is constantly being added to and you can enjoy all social occasions without any stress or worry.