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Lessons From The Divorce Of Jon Gosseling - 3 Tips For Dads In Divorce

Lessons From The Divorce Of Jon Gosseling - 3 Tips For Dads In Divorce


Lessons From The Divorce Of Jon Gosseling - 3 Tips For Dads In Divorce

by Jason Roberts

No one likes to go through a divorce, that goes without saying. Unfortunately, 40% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce as of 2008. That means 4 out of 10 homes will be broken ones, Jon and Kate being one of them. This takes a heavy toll on the entire family; man, woman, and children. Sometimes, despite the best efforts of the husband and wife to resolve their differences, divorce becomes inevitable. While the woman does suffer, sometimes greatly, it is the man who's suffering is overlooked. Women, on average, come out in better condition after divorce proceedings are over. Men, on the other hand are left to deal with alimony, asset redistribution, child support, custody troubles, depression, and blood-sucking lawyers, often without any support of their own. While Jon's divorce is different from others, there are a few things all fathers can do to come out better.

The first thing you want to do is prepare mentally. Whether you expect a clean or dirty fight from your spouse, you should still prepare for the worst. Prepare mentally by defining what you feel you are properly entitled to and hold your ground. Prepare for high emotions, tension, stress, and heated exchanges. Perhaps the most effective thing you can do is to help yourself is to find a support group or a good friend that you can share your feelings with. Statistics have shown that male divorcees were up to 6 times more likely to have depression. You should also prepare for an unfair court battle, case in point Kramer vs. Kramer. The courts almost always favor a competent mother to a competent father.

The second thing you want to do is prepare financially and legally. It's very important you find proper legal counsel, preferably one that is referred to you and who will go to the trenches for you, and set aside money for your defense. If you have skeletons in your closet, prepare to deal with them with your counselor, don't go on public and admit to an affair (not very wise on Jon's part). Also, you might want to keep an organized and clear journal to present in your defense. Fill it with videos, photos, receipts, times, places and events, and show it to your lawyer. It's also very important that you start lining up credible witness that will vouch for you.

Financially, you should cancel joint credit cards, or risk paying her debts in addition to yours. Take an inventory of all your assets and debts and make photo copies of important documents, e.g. bank statements, pay stubs, tax returns, etc. Go back at least three years.

The third thing to do is take care of your children. By this I mean, realize that, depending on age or maturity, this will be a turbulent time for them. Whether you have 1 or 8 kids, make it clear that despite the divorce, you are still there for them. Try to keep your relationship between you and your kids untouched by your marital troubles. Play more with them, attend kids parties, play dates, social functions, etc. You might also want to consider a enrolling your kids in counseling if you see it necessary. And do not, play them against their mother. Be the best father you can be.

While Jon is at a disadvantage with all the exposure and having a soon-to-be-ex who filled for divorce first (that Kate has really got her stuff together), you could learn from his mistakes. Just be more careful.

Your goal shouldn't be to destroy your spouse and take everything, just take what is rightfully yours; fatherhood and integrity.

About the Author:
And how exactly can you keep your fatherhood and integrity? By learning how the system works, and there's no better way to find out than from someone who's been through it. Learn how a father like yourself should handle a divorce with this step-by-step guide.

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